New Webcam; New Concerns

Valleyfair announced on their Twitter Account that a webcam has been added to their “Online Fun” page, thus allowing Valleyfair fans and coaster enthusiasts from around the world to tune into the Route 76 construction. However, after the webcam was announced there was an overt uproar among fans and guests alike.

Image

“The inconsideration,” cried disgruntled Valleyfair fan Tommy Snidera who has been tracking the progress of Route 76 since the beginning. “It’s just unbelievable. I understand the demolition of the Go-Karts, but to leave these poor garbage cans laying upside-down for what would appear to be days; Maybe even weeks? I just can’t even . . . “

Snidera — a member of the Garbage-Receptacle Rights Activists in the state of Minnesota — stated during a press release held in his backyard that “Valleyfair has always been held to a very illustrious and respectable standard” when it came to the subject of garbage cans and other comparable waste receptacles. “We’ve never had a problem like this before. [The receptacles] have always been properly maintained, cleaned, and well-nourished. To see this kind of injustice take place . . . all of us at G-RAM are saddened to see this sort of thing happen.” The crowd, otherwise consisting of his mother and second cousin had no comments when prompted for an interview by Valleyfairzone staff-members.

“I don’t want to sound like I’m taking a route of indignation with this whole ordeal, but we simply must uphold the rights of trash receptacles around the state, and around the world.” When asked about whether or not he is planning on attending the opening ceremony of Route 76, Snidera stated, “Oh no doubt! The new scrambler ride sounds great!”

2013 Haunt Review: Mangler Asylum

DSCN3277

Same Story, Same Classic Maze

The Mangler Asylum has been a very popular fan (and Valleyfairzone) favorite of the Haunt since its debut in 2006. From the opening night in 2006, it set the bar high for Haunt mazes, and has ceased to let us down since that night. With that said, 2013 was no exception — Once again, the Asylum was a great maze, and we’re glad it was back for another year. Because of its popular and well-known status, we aren’t going to go too in-depth with this review. However, we would like to touch on two key points on the Asylum that will explain our ultimate rating.

First, the Asylum thrives on its incredible cast; especially on the people who have been there since the very beginning of the maze in ’06. The entire group of actors and actresses in the Asylum all know their maze, they’ve worked with it for a few years traditionally, and conclusively, they know where, when, and how to scare people. If it weren’t for that factor, the maze wouldn’t be what it is, and what it has been. Major props to the Asylum crew — You all are nuts, and we love it.

Second, the modifications made on a year-to-year basis are very minimal, which concerns us about the future of the maze. It would seem that the amount of money spent on the Asylum since ’06 has been minimal at best. This would be a major issue — in our opinion at least — if it weren’t for the great cast we talked about in the prior point.

We aren’t entirely sure how much longer the Asylum will be around, but the year it ceases to exist, we are sure there will be a group of saddened haunters, and indeed — we will be apart of that group. Nonetheless, all good things must come to an end, and it would be entirely inaccurate to say it hasn’t been good. On the contrary — It has been great. Thanks Asylum crew for yet another great season.

HydroBlasting into the Past?

103103

 

Arrivederci to the Slides of Wetness?

If you take a look at the “thrill rides” section of Valleyfair’s website, you will notice that our favorite set of racing twin waterslides are absent from the lineup. What is that? It’s a family ride and not a thrill ride? Okay; We’ll give you that, but upon glancing at the family ride page as well, one might begin to ask “No seriously, where did Hydroblaster go?”

Well, we can report with minute accuracy that the ontological state of Hydroblaster is still measurable (In other words, it’s still standing), thus its immediate demise is not fact as of yet. However, we have come to see, hear, and for the most part know that Hydroblaster will be retired either this offseason, or the next. If we take into consideration the gaping plot of land that used to be occupied by IMAX, we can easily assume that a Soak City expansion will happen in the near future. With that said, we’ve heard from numerous sources that Hydroblaster is to be removed as well in order to make way for one flipping large expansion. What all does it entail? Your guess is as good as ours; we have no idea when it will happen, how it will happen, or what will happen within the expansion. Until we find out more, let’s sulk in the loss of yet another ride.

Hydroblaster was added in 1995, and stood next to its also now-deceased neighbor Ye Old Flume for a number of years. Both Hydroblaster and the Flume contributed greatly to the great lineup of water rides that Valleyfair had to offer, though it would appear that the immediate necessity of a Soak City expansion has taken precedent of their very existence. To this, we sigh and say “Bah — Humbug” at the loss of another Valleyfair classic. Hydroblaster will live on in our hearts forever. Rest in Pieces.

2013 Haunt Review: Hellside Farm

DSCN1722

 

Double-Pallet-Wall-Swag

Hellside has been somewhat of a repetitive favorite for us all at Valleyfairzone. It has never really been terrible, though it has never really blown us out of the water either. This year, however, we’re proud to say it was probably one of the best mazes at the event, and although our memory about the maze is hazy (#CornPuns), we will do our best to recount what was subjectively the best outdoor maze of the year.

Let’s start out with the foundation of the maze. As some of you may know, the method that Valleyfair used for “corning” over the past five years is complicated, grueling, and just painstaking. Essentially, construction workers would form the layout using pallets & braces connected by plain ol’ wood, nails, and screws. After they laid out the maze from the Depot to the Amphitheater Train Crossing, workers would nail fencing onto the pallets & planks of wood, followed by the excruciating process of corning. Imagine taking a single stalk of corn, placing it against a chain-link fencing, and then zip-tying that piece of corn to the fence two or three times. Workers would do this for the entire maze, thus Hellside has always been hell and a half to build. This year, however, it appears that the pallet/brace/fencing method was nixed, and replaced by stuffing corn inside of the pallets. All we can say to this is a hearty BRAVO!

DSCN1578

Putting the “Hell” in Hellside since 2008

Entering into the maze we noticed the corn was higher, the layout was better, and they finally utilized the infamous “double-pallet-wall” system which has been struck down year after year. Through the utilization of double-pallets, the maze effectively masked the area behind the Depot, and lessoned the painfully overt presence of the 200 ft. behemoth right next door.

The talent as a whole did a fantastic job of selling their characters, and throughout the maze there were numerous rooms/scenes that played into the overall theme of the maze beautifully. We loved Hellside from the beginning to the end, and we can’t think of all that much we could (or even would) do to improve it. Our only complaint? Those darn spinning tunnels. They made little to no sense at all, and it seemed to us that they were more of a gimmicky detraction from the overall theme.

With that said, let’s get to the ratings:

Atmosfear – 4/5 Skulls

Talent – 4.5/5 Skulls

Layout – 4/5 Skulls

Overall – 4/5 Skulls

New for 2014! (Besides Route 76)

Image

Stop — In the name of anything better than IMAX.

In case you have been hiding under a rock, behind a couch, or next to a small creature, you may have missed our Twitter Account, where we broke the heart-wrenching news that yes . . . The IMAX Theater will meet its demise at the end of the 2013 season.

We spotted a few spray-paint markings around it last weekend, orange construction fences appeared this weekend, and we’re sincerely hoping it will have been imploded and/or burnt to the ground by next weekend. The trees around the premises are in “every man for themselves” mode, signifying an interesting, almost naturally conservative method of deconstruction that most Cedar Fair parks haven’t utilized in the past. BUT — We aren’t here to banter about when or how it’s getting demolished, we’re just glad it’ll be gone.

The IMAX Theater was built in 1982, and if we’re being honest, we aren’t entirely sure if it received any major renovations since ’82. We’ve seem some great shows in the IMAX over the course of the park’s history such as . . . (Well, we can’t remember the exact names, but we can sort-of describe them: Cute Monkeys with bad british accent, surfers who never find the big wave, scary jungles, mountains and stuff, MORGAN H. FREEMAN. Good enough? Great.)

Now for the exciting speculation that leads to inconclusive evidence about absolutely nothing, but will probably happen anyway. (Oh Boy)

Ever since the previous General Manager of Valleyfair left, it has been speculated that the IMAX would be removed for the eventual expansion of Soak City? Why? Because IMAX sits on a freaking large plot of land and has been the biggest inconvenience to Valleyfair since the Rock Band Live folks came — though this, we would argue, precedes that even.

Oh no . . . Please no. 

IMAX is [soon to be was] located directly next to Soak City waterpark, which is just a wee-bit landlocked to say the least. The land that it sits on could easily fit the essential components to having the best waterpark in the great state of Minnesota. With that said, one may ask, “Well aren’t they already adding Route 76? Are they going to add onto Soak City in addition to that?” We aren’t entirely sure, but we do know that it has been “on schedule” per-say, that Soak City will be expanded and receive it’s unofficial Phase 2 (with Phase 1 having been Breakers Bay and the like).

Over the past three to four years, we’ve also heard with solid consistency that the land Hydroblaster, Subway, and the Dining Patio all sit on has its days numbered as well. So, we can begun to draw conclusions from not only IMAX’s removal, but those potential rumors as well:

  • If we see a waterpark expansion of any sort for 2014, we can guess that we wouldn’t see another expansion in Soak City until at least 2016, or even 2017.
  • If we don’t see an expansion in the waterpark for 2014 (large grassy knoll to replace IMAX anyone?), we may possibly see the extinction of HydroBlaster/Dining Patio towards the end of the 2014 season; This would make way for a very large Soak City expansion in 2015.
  • They’re preserving trees — So Valleyfair likes trees. We like trees, so we like Valleyfair. *Applause*

So — With all of that said, it will be an interesting couple of months ahead of us as we see what replaces the infamous IMAX Theater. Regardless of what happens, who’s up for seeing the biggest and best waterpark in Minnesota in only a few short years? #WeAre

2013 Haunt Review: Abnormal Alley

Abnormally Empty Alley

The Corkscrew/Ferris Wheel walkway has always been a keen area for a scare zone —or so we thought— and we found that it confirmed that presumption when Blood Creek extended onto the walkway during the 2010 Haunt when Planet Snoopy construction initially began. With that said, we were excited to see the triple-feature of scare zones — Blood Creek Cemetery, CarnEvil, and Abnormal Alley — covering the north end of the park; Corkscrew/Ferris Wheel walkway included.

All italicized puns aside, Abnormal Alley packed a lot of elements, themes, and props into a very condensed space. There were an array of props and costumes that made the zone great on paper, and so too in real life, only insofar as they were apparent. The few times we did walk through the zone, there were wide gaps between the talent, and the actors and actresses that we did come across seemed to give the ol’ stare and stride method, leaving us with very minimal interactions, let-alone scares.

Now before you write us off as having had an entirely awful experience, the park tried something this year that not many parks with Haunt events have picked up on. They packed a whole lot of themeing, a whole lot of props, and a whole lot of storyline into a small area. Halloween Horror Nights (at least on the Hollywood side of the World) is notorious for this, as evidence by their block-long scare zones that equivocate about half of Blood Creek Cemetery. By condensing all of these thematic elements into one small area, and allowing the actors utilize those elements interactively, there is more of an “experience” in the zone despite its size, than in the monstrosity (and atrocity) that is Blood Creek. All things considered, we give high praise to the Haunt designers for brushing the proverbial surface of greatness, and we encourage this tactic — Lots of props, lots of thematic elements, and lots of monsters in a very small area. This — in our opinion — is the key to scare-zonal success.

Overall, we commend the effort that Abnormal Alley gave, and will continue to give throughout this year. We look forward to seeing the concept of the zone expanded on over the course of the future years of Haunt, and we hope that these abnormal creatures are back for next year’s event!

Atmosfear – 2.5/5 Skulls

Talent – 1.5/5 Skulls

Layout – 4/5 Skulls

Overall – 2.5/5 Skulls

2013 Haunt Review: Chateau Du Damne

Image

It scared the hiss right out of us. 

Chateau Du Damne has a rich history at the Haunt, with its lifespan extending all the way back to the beginning of the event in 2006. Our favorite vampire maze returned this year and we were once-again left complacently satisfied, having enjoyed our stay at the state’s oldest blood-sucking, glitter-spitting house of vampires.

We saw some of the same familiar faces we’ve seen year after year, and to them, we give a hearty toast. If it weren’t for the talent, this maze wouldn’t be able to come back year after year. As we walked through the maze, we noticed that most of the layout — if not all of the layout — is essentially the same as last year. Yes, there are a few minor details that have been added to the maze — a new prop in this corner, another black wall in the next — but it continues to be a maze of repeated layouts, recycled props, and the same story we have all come to know and appreciate.

With all of that said, here are our ratings for Chateau Du Damne – 2013.

Atmosfear – 3.5/5 Skulls

Talent – 3.5/5 Skulls

Layout – 2/5 Skulls

Overall – 3/5 Skulls

Now that we’ve given our ratings for the maze, we’d like to touch briefly on the future of this maze. It is a well-known fact that mazes have life-cycles, and that they need to be upgraded, recycled, and replaced after x amount of years. We saw evidence of this fact this year at Haunt with Zombie High and London Terror replacing the 2006-2012 favorites Carnage at Crimson Isle and CarnEvil in 3D. After seven years of terrorizing guests of the Haunt, these mazes were aged, and nearing the end of their lives. With that said, Chateau Du Damne as well as the Asylum & Blood Creek Cemetery are the remaining 2006 originals that have yet to be replaced. So what should we expect in the future?

Well, if CarnEvil and Carnage were replaced for the 2013 Haunt, we can only assume that either Blood Creek, Mangler Asylum, and Chateau Du Damne will be among the list of mazes-to-be-replaced in the next few Haunt events. Yes, the Haunt traditionalists will cry out indignantly out of hopes that their mazes will last for eternity, but as all things in life do, these haunts will greet their eventual demise and will be stamped into the history books of the Halloween Haunt at Valleyscare.

When Chateau retires, it will be hard for us not to recollect the excellent run it had throughout the years at Haunt, but we’re sure whatever stands in its place in the future will be a suitable and worthy replacement. Until that day comes, we suggest you make it a point to visit the Haunt, and more importantly visit the state’s favorite group of immortal, blood-sucking fiends, only at Valleyscare.